Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Our House Got Robbed



We'd only lived in our new home for under a year when we were broken into.
I had taken a week off work to recover from having one of my saliva gland's removed. (I know, I'm getting a reputation for my cool surgeries. Don't be jealous, my mouth has 30% less saliva than yours).

At the time, I worked as an office manager in a psychology practice and there were no other employees to harass in the David Brent style. When the Thursday after my surgery rolled around, and I was feeling better, and speaking easily - much to my husband's disappointment delight. I called my boss and told her I'd be in to work the next day. She was so relieved. I didn't normally work on Fridays but I knew there would be a lot to catch up on come Monday if I didn't go in.

We had just had friends from Norway staying with us the week before my surgery. So if there was a thief watching our house, and trying to figure out a schedule it would have proven tricky to figure out.


My husband and I usually don't arrive home from work at the same time but this day we did. It was winter so our completely enclosed and private porch was in complete darkness. My husband was a few steps behind me. As I stepped into the porch I screamed bloody murder, like I'd just been attacked or something. He freaked out. I laughed really hard. "Why do you do things like that, Jess? You scare me." I thought I was hilarious. I stumbled in the dark for the lock and finally got my key in.  I switched the light on. Immediately I knew things were amiss. I did not leave the front hall closet open when I left. Our re-usable green bags were scattered in the entry.


I exclaimed something like "Oh my Gosh, this isn't right." I turned to look in the lounge room and saw that our entertainment unit had been completely pulled from the wall with cords sticking out. Then I turned to my bedroom and stuff was thrown all over our bed, and not because we'd made hot love that morning. We hadn't). Panicked, I turned to Dave - "We've been broken into!" He was in disbelief and replied sarcastically "Yeah, sure we have... this just one of your stupid pranks, Jess." "No, Dave, really we've been broken into." (No one ever believes me about the serious things). "How do I know you didn't just set this up?" He asked. A reasonable question considering my sick sense of humour, the prank I'd just pulled, and the fact that I leave for work after him. Which means I would have had time to set something this elaborate up. Except I didn't. I stood there shaking like a twerker's bottom, and explained that I wouldn't have been able to move the entertainment unit out that far (confession: I am not buff).

Then we noticed the laptop was missing...
You can see to the end of the hallway, where the blinds hang and where the sneaky thief exited on right.
I heard the sliding door's blind flapping in the wind at the back of the house. We tentatively moved down the hallway together, not knowing if their was still someone in our home, but apparently dumb enough to think we could fight them off with our... bare hands? Yup, just like the 'Casey's, Rebecca's and Crystal's' of horror movies gone by.
The back sliding door was wide open but the blind was down. I rushed into our back study and looked in our filing cabinet. The one with the lock on it, but of course - it wasn't locked. My white gold necklace with the diamond pendant that David gave me on our wedding night was gone. That's when I burst into tears (imagine a twerker crying). The thief could have taken so many other things (like the landline phone or address book pictured. Things that will have real value soon because they are almost extinct). Why the necklace? WAHHH! That was priceless to me. What about the sentimental value? Thieves are not the most thoughtful bunch.

Filing cabinets make shitty safes. This is why we own a real safe now, people! One we keep locked.
The cops came that night. They took ages to show up even though their headquarters is only 3 city blocks away. When they arrived they seemed really nonchalant about the whole thing. Apparently this happens all the time so they didn't seem too surprised. The forensic investigators came and dusted everything for prints the next day. They found a lot of mine, but I tried not to look guilty. Then I spent hours getting the black powder off everything. 
David's Johnny Walker Blue Label was taken, along with several other bottles. We're classy.
And for the record, I finally convinced Dave to recycle the giant empty beer can.

The thief had entered through a window at the back of the house by pushing up the pane and sliding it over. He had used one of my plant pots to hoist himself inside. He took whatever he could carry in one of our green re-usable shopping bags. He had enough time to search the study to find the Macbook power cord after taking the Macbook from the lounge room. He stole some other small items as well, like my digital camera. Which probably doesn't seem like much right now but back in those days, kids, most phones didn't have the great cameras in them like they do today.

You can see the thief's running shoe imprint on left where the cops dusted for prints, and the window that he came in through. Not sure why he left the cookbook. 
Luckily David had taken out Home and Contents insurance when we had moved in and we were able to get everything replaced. Funnily enough, insurance companies aren't too interested in replacing your green shopping bags.

Dave picked up the replacement necklace from the jeweller without me knowing and gave it to me on a bench, in the moonlight, overlooking the ocean. He said he wanted to give me another special memory of  receiving the new necklace to help me forget the robbery. Mushy bottoms!

David installed extra locks on every single window and the back sliding doors, and installed a simple home security system that *called our home phones in a break in. And he bought a safe. It's taken me years to not dream about someone breaking into our home, especially because our neighbours were broken into a few years later. I was incredibly creeped out that a stranger was in my bedroom, going through my personal items without me knowing. Yuck. Who knows, maybe he even stole a pair of undies that I haven't even missed. Bahaha. Shouldn't flatter myself. Actually, that's also very yuck. Reminds me way too much of the prison-panty-mail ring that Orange Is The New Black had on their show.

*The night I was literally pushing my baby into the world our phones both got calls (from the alarm system) saying our home was being broken into. Besides a death in the family I'm not sure there is much more stress inducing information you can give a woman in the throes of labour. Turned out to be a false alarm and we still don't know why it happened. My elderly neighbour still brings it up with my 2 year old son. "I could hear your mother bringing you into the world the night you were born." I really wish Dave didn't have to call her husband to see if he could check our house for us. I'll never live that down.

Linked up with Essentially Jess for I Blog on Tuesdays

Friday, May 6, 2016

We Will Rock You Review - The Musical By Queen and Ben Elton

*Sponsored by We Will Rock You and Nuffnang, but 100% Peachy!
Professional photography from We Will Rock You Australia

Growing up as a kid in a fundamentalist Christian home I didn’t have the opportunity to listen to rock music, Christian or secular. It was not allowed. My dad thought he was funny by saying “Rock and roll can just rock and roll out the door of this house.” My 5 year old brain would just imagine a rock rolling out the door, not really understanding what I was missing until I was about 11 years old.

In a pile of my parent’s old records, I discovered a Christian children’s record to put on our record player. It was about a lion, the king of the jungle, swinging from tree to tree. It sounded a bit Elvis-like, not that I would have known that then. I used to play it on repeat and thrash around the lounge room, jumping off the lounges and doing air-guitar. When I was 13 I was able to buy a walk-man and then sneakily buy my first cassette tapes, or record off the radio on dad’s blank tapes (that he reserved for sermons) when my parents weren’t around. Music was my escape.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Midwife Gini's Own Home Water Birth Story

My guest post today is by my friend Gini Conroy. What struck me about her story, when she told it to me, was how real and honest she was about her labor pain and how empowered she sounded when she described her home birth. Sometimes I read home birth stories that sound to good to be true. It's refreshing to hear her admit she had to do some screaming, and get all animalistic. Roar! She, herself, is a passionate and caring Newcastle midwife. She is also wife to Eli, and mum to Noel and newborn Tully. I hope you enjoy her story and take away something from it too.
 - Jess from Peachy Keen Mumma-
Professional photography by Kate Kennedy
The most common thing someone will say when you mention you are going to have a Homebirth is: 'but what about all the mess?'
Firstly I'll just mention, that I remember actually saying and thinking the same thing years ago and for me the reason was just because I'd never been to a Homebirth.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Does Spending $7450 a Year Make Me High Maintenance?

*Brought to you by Compare the Market but 100% Peachy

I put a strain on my family's finances. I know I do. I want to live and maintain a certain lifestyle, and that means big money needs to be spent on me. I demand it. I need it. I cannot go without it. I'm hard work. 


Every year we spend a butt-load on my health. Ever since I was a passenger in 4 car accidents in 1999-2000 I have been riddled with chronic pain due to soft tissue damage. What started just in my back has now spread to almost every place in my body. (Please make sure you read that word "passenger" because I'm not the world's worst driver). I am, however, my chiropractor's bread and butter, and probably that nice craft beer he drinks on a Friday night. I see him once every 4 weeks if I'm doing okay, and once every 2 weeks if I'm not.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

DREAM LOVER: The Bobby Darin Musical + Tickets Giveaway

*Sponsored by Nuffnang and Dream Lover but 100% Peachy


Photo by Brian Geach

I arrived at Sydney’s Lyric Theatre on Monday night with my friend Courtney, after receiving an invitation for the Preview of the musical  Dream Lover. The theatre is located near Darling Harbour, and is off to the side of the very impressive Star Casino. There is a beautiful view, from the Lyric Theatre's gorgeous balcony, of the waterfront and famous city skyline.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Stop the Corolla, I'm Eating Granola

*Sponsored by Compare the Market but 100% a PKM Recipe


 In a bid to get healthier a year ago, I decided to try something completely foreign to me, and for once it actually worked. Since then I've cut out most processed, refined sugar, stopped eating bread like a maniac, and given pasta and rice a miss most of the month. I also started making up my own paleo recipes, like this granola, after I lost 5kgs doing the Whole30.

Before you tune out on me because the Whole30 "diet" is paleo, and that's a dirty word thanks to celeb chef Pete Evans, don't. I adapted my cooking this way over the year to a nice balance of around 70% paleo to 30% "normal" eating. That's why this recipe is completely paleo except for the oats. That means this recipe is natural, preservative free, refined sugar, corn and corn syrup free, and does not include any of the other nasties. You can make it either way. That's why I love this granola recipe. I always throw in a bit of this and that into my granola. My granola is always changing so I had to work on the measurements for this recipe so I could share the general idea of it with you.


A little trick I use is adding in fruit and nut mix. You could change my recipe by adding more of that and less of the other nuts mentioned as it tends to be a less expensive option sometimes than buying full bags of nuts. I also buy my nuts from Aldi as they seem to cost a lot less than the other two major grocery chains. They also sell unsweetened apple sauce, which I have found difficult to find anywhere else. There always seems to be sugar added.

Monday, March 7, 2016

Me and My Lady Problems

*Sponsored by Compare The Market but 100% pure Peachy!

Groggy Peachy. "Where am I?" An hour after waking up from general anaesthetic.

Warning: Content below includes surgical photo. While I think this photo is cool I respect that others may only like photos of people's outsides and not their insides. 

Let's talk lady problems. There's a lot to contend with when you have a female body. First you start with growing breasts then getting a period. And by the time you're having babies you have to deal with  the tri-fector: leaking boobs, vagina, and urethra. Even then there's usually the haemorrhoids you get from pushing so damn hard to get a human out. Then there's hot flashes from menopause. When does it end? It doesn't. It changes, it get's better from vagina weightlifting (seriously), or kegel work, using all kinds of leak absorbing pads or hormones but it's never really easier. Just different.