Monday, April 28, 2014

Here's a baby, do something with it. - My Mother's Group

Yesterday, I went to a big 1 year old's birthday bash for my mother's group and our babies. I guess I'm writing this a couple months early considering my little guy is only 10 months; he's one of the younger babies in this group though, and it is larger than pictured. Well everyone, meet some of the ladies who have helped me through this new and scary motherhood business. Yikes and Yee-ha! I met them through the Early Education Centre. The Centre sends nurses out to your home when you just have a baby, and they do all the routine baby check-ups and immunisations at the Centre. They also run a support group for new mum's once a week.

I found it extremely hard to get out of the house in the first few weeks of my baby's life. The days seemed endless and I felt like I never left the couch from which I breastfed. Charlie had difficulty gaining weight (HA! I know, right, he's so chunky now), and we struggled so much with breastfeeding. We also learned as we went that Charlie had silent reflux, which is why he would only sleep in our arms and upright,  and why I was glued to the couch after feeding! As my title to this blog suggests, I did feel like every day was just figuring out how to keep this baby and myself alive. "Just make it through the day, Jess."
So if I'm breastfeeding and holding a sleeping child all day long how do I get myself ready and go out the front door? Well, one time I went out for Charlie's check up and was wearing maroon pants and maroon crocs. Disaster. [There is a very good reason we have a "No CROC's outside this house" rule!]      
                                                          Look how tired I was ( and of course glued to the couch!)

I knew I had to get to that support group, it was only a two block walk from me, yet it seemed impossible. Sure, I was worried I'd end up getting there and all the mother's would be hungry wolves, who would eat me up with their judgement and out-doing me comments. BUT what I feared more was that I would never again leave my lounge room and have the support I craved!
Finally, after a couple of weeks of terrible attempts to get out the door to group, I did it. I almost talked myself out of it. "I look terrible and I just know this baby is going to have a screaming fit when I get there." I worked long hours before hand to make sure I was dressed, my baby was dressed  and I had everything in the nappy bag packed. You laugh at me, maybe, but it can really be that hard for a new mum to get out when she's glued to the couch! 

Pictured: Charlie chases his mate Alex
AND you know what, they weren't hungry judgemental wolves, waiting to pounce. They were kind women, understanding, and tired - just like me. I remember crying (no,  it was sobbing) when it came to my turn in the circle. I grew up being a big sister to 4 newborns, and had even been a nanny, but there was so much I didn't know, and all of a sudden my great confidence that I could do this job was wavering. These women offered assurance that they too were having one heck of a time figuring out this new baby stuff. I also found I was offered many great ideas and solutions by hearing what other mum's were going through. 
Today the dynamic of this group has changed as our babies have grown and become demanding in other ways. I think we are a little less emotional, and not AS exhausted.  We stay in regular contact on our Facebook group page, still supporting each other and offering help to one another. We still try and meet up somewhere once a week to hang out. 
I look back on the last 10 months and am so grateful for these beautiful, open, caring, genuine and loving mums who opened their hearts to me and Charlie. You ladies have had such an impact on me in one of the hardest times of my life (and, it's been a mega- rewarding time too). Thank you!
Sorry, it's a Fuzzy Picture - This is Amy (who organises a lot for us) and her beautiful Chloe


  1. Lol, there's a tiny baby head on my shoulder! Love you jess, you're an amazing mother and friend :-D

  2. Awww, thank you Amy! I think you have been an incredible shoulder to many of us. I'm so appreciative to you for all you have done for our group! :)