Wednesday, July 2, 2014

I hate first birthday parties

I hate first birthday parties

Yup. Those are the words that have been said in secret to my husband for quite a few years. Why have I decided to break my silence and tell you how I really feel? Well, for starters, it's more like how I really felt. Yeah, I kinda, sorta, maybe changed my mind about the whole thing. Gasp. The number one reason for this is, of course, I now have a child.
I spoke to a friend recently who has yet to become a mother. She understood what I meant when I told about my (old) deep, dark secret. Guess what parents? Your friends who don't have kids don't necessarily want to come to a party for a one year old. It's true. Yup. When we were pre-baby we reluctantly went to a few first birthday parties and honestly wondered if we were just invited for the gift (there - I said it). Especially because we were usually the only couple there without a baby. The parties, for the most part, were soooo boring for us. Most of the parents there were busy chasing their kids or talking about their kids. We are both from huge families so we could hold our own in conversation regarding kids but did we want to?No, not really. Not unless your kid happened to be someone very, very special to us. Which they probably were not because if they were we would have made a point to tell you about how amazing it was to be a part of their first birthday.
The worst experience I've ever had was for a 1 year old girl at one of those big playlands. Ya know the ones with the slides, the ball pit, and jumping castle? The one year old, (who had hundreds of dollars spent on her and the party), had no clue what was going on, had no interest in her gifts or cake; and we knew no one but the parents who happened to be talking to the tons of other parents they invited. WHY the big deal MEGA birthday for a one year old? Made no sense. Hated it! I think I hated it even more because it felt so senseless. The voice in my head was begging me "Is it over? Can we go home yet? PLEASE!!!"
But then Charlie happened to us, and guess what? NOW I really enjoy the socialising that goes on with the other parents. Shock, right? Again, that's because I have MY OWN KID! All I'm saying is that you either really take good care of your childless friends if you want them at the party (like maybe give them free booze). Or just let them know that they are invited but there is absolutely no pressure to come. Wish someone had said that to us back in the good ol' days of no child.
Our boy Charlie turned one recently, and we decided on a very low key family BBQ. But my husband has 10 siblings (and their partners) so it ended up being 23 of us in our tiny backyard. And you know why we threw the party (it wasn't a party, ok, it was a  BBQ)? I'd say 75% of it was about us. I'm being honest. We FREAKING made it through the first year of our kid's life (and those first 6 months were incredibly HARD)! We desperately needed to have a beer and some cake to celebrate our incredible feat. We did it!!! YAY! We needed to celebrate with the people closest to us, who saw the tears, the ugly-ness,  the desperation AND our greatest joy! I didn't understand that about parents before Charlie. Parents of one year olds are, probably, (mainly) throwing the party for themselves. I get it now. OK. That's alright. It makes sense. Everyone party 'cause I'm no longer a hater!
All dressed up

Aunty Sulyn and an outfit change

Cousin Isabella
It's supposed to be a drum

Lot's of Aunty's and Uncle's to share the day

Mr Giggle Bottoms

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