Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Lesson on Female Anatomy: you have three holes not two

You've got three holes not two! This might sound totally ridiculous to some people but there really are grown, sexually active women out there who have no idea about their own anatomy. How do I know this? I know because I often tell this story to people about an old roommate of mine, and some of them have confessed to thinking the same as her.

She was 19 and yes, sexually active. One day she walked out of our bathroom and said to me "Isn't it so annoying that you have to take out your tampon every time you pee?" My jaw dropped. I couldn't hide my shock from her. I asked her what she was talking about. "You know what I mean, so your tampon doesn't fill with pee?" Stupefied, I replied "What …fill with pee? How could your tampon fill with pee?" Now she looked at me like I was the crazy one. Like, duh, don't you know you pee through your vagina. My mind was officially blown, I had just learned something new about my anatomy that I never knew before. I could pee from my vagina. Mad skills. No, okay, so all joking aside, the truth is that I tried to give her an anatomy lesson right then and there. A very basic one with words from my mouth, not by taking down my pants. "No, we have a pee-hole, then a vagina, then a butt-hole." She didn't believe me. She was a very stubborn girl and insisted that she was correct and left for work.
When she returned that evening I called her over to the computer and showed her something like this, and explained the pee-hole was called the urethra.


Her first response was anger, " Oh my God, Jessica, you always have to be right, don't you!" Well, maybe I do and maybe I don't, but when it comes to anatomy things are the way they are for all of us and that's just hard fact, (unless they aren't which is then considered an abnormality, which I'm certain peeing through your vagina would be considered).

Was I the only one paying attention in Sex-Ed? I didn't think I was. I confided the story in another girlfriend (same age as us and also sexually active) and was surprised when she turned quiet afterwards, and looked embarrassed. She then told me she has always thought the same thing as my roommate too. Oh man, maybe a little note should be written on the inside of tampon boxes "Wearers should know that they have a separate pee hole so there is no need to fear a urine soaked tampon in the Vagina." Or Sex-Ed classes that teach "UVA! UVA! UVA! Urethra-Vagina-Anus!"

I have now learned 13 years later ( and several times over) that this lack of education about our own female genitalia is actually more common than I ever thought. That's why I'm posting this. If it will benefit one woman then it was all worth it, even monetarily; after all, just think how much money that woman will now save on tampons. Right. Those things aren't cheap.

28 comments:

  1. Deb @ home life simplifiedJuly 15, 2014 at 3:44 PM

    Ok am loving UVA UVAA UVA urethra vagina anus and have it chanting in my head xx

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  2. If I was peeing out of my vagina I'd be veeeeeery worried! My mum did that, but only after a hysterectomy that went wrong. She did it for some months until it was fixed, and I don't think she thought it was normal!

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  3. Heard this from people too! It's just a waste of tampons...

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  4. And it's really sad. I made sure my (late) teen sister-inlaws read this post. There will be no tampons wasted in their house.

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  5. OMG!!! It happened. But something went wrong surgically for it to happen. YIKES. Poor thing! I think there's enough going on in the Vagina that we should keep pee out of it. You poor mum didn't have a choice though.

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  6. HA!!! You cracked me up. I think i would have been far too shy to chant this in sex-ed! Don't you remember everyone being so quiet in those classes. All attention on the teacher (or so I thought), the nervous tension, no one wanting to be singled out. Ahhh good ol' high school.

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  7. Omg I am loving this! I remember being in sex ed class way back in primary school and someone asked the same question. I remember being amazed by the lack of understanding of your own body. xx

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  8. That was brave of them to ask! If I have a girl one day I'm going to let her know these things. My mum just looked at me and asked "Do you know how to use this," when she handed me my first pad. Eyes bulging and shit scared. I guess I was girl #3 and she was over it by then?

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  9. It's sad how some people just don't speak to their children mind you it's not always as simple as it sounds I agree!! Emily - also visiting as part of #teamIBOT

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  10. The thing is, it blows my mind that people don't know about the whole not peeing out of your vagina thing, but at the same time, I don't remember how I learnt it myself, but I know it was at a very young age, definitely primary school, and pretty sure about year 4 when we all had to go to one of those info evenings at the school that parents took their kids too and we all sat there trying not to turn red, but also trying not to show just how fascinated we were by it all as well!

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  11. "Her first response was anger, "Oh my God, Jessica, you always have to be right, don't you!""

    Oh my gosh I HATE people like that.

    The ones who somehow seem to think reality is conspiring against them and their being wrong is some sort of emotional attack against them personally...

    How the hell are you supposed to learn and grow with that attitude???

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  12. Can I tell you that as a nurse the female anatomy looks nothing like the textbook or dummies they have you practise on - especially once a lady hits the 80's / 90's. The first time I tried to put a catheter into an elderly lady I had 3 attempts before I struck gold (so to speak)

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  13. My mum is a hospice nurse and shared similar experiences with me, Mark. Apparently a very difficult process, especially when learning. I can imagine the urethra would be a tricky thing to work with.

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  14. You really would have hated her, Fairy. She stole 1,200 from my bank account so I'm extra happy to tell this story about her. Muhahaha! I think it's funny that she said that to me because I felt that she was the one who always needed to be right.

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  15. I remember looking down there when I peed, when I was pre-puberty. I could see and feel that it was different to the other hole. Guess I was a curious little girl. :)

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  16. Hi Emily, It's my first time linking with #teamIBOT. Didn't really know if I was doing it right. haha.
    Speaking of doing it right, my first tampon experience was horrible!!!Not as simple as it sounds. Nope.

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  17. Yep she'd probably had enough by the time it was your turn to go through it!

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  18. In Primary School, we had sex ed and I will never forget it. One of the parts of the lessons was a confidential question jar where people could put questions in that they were too embarrassed to ask... One question was, 'On the ads on TV, it says that girls periods are blue. Why?'
    Do you remember back in the day they would often put two pads alongside each other, and show the absorbency of each pad? And the water was always blue. Lol.

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  19. Seriously? This is the first I heard of this (women not knowing about the 3 holes) and it explains so much! Some people are scarily naive about their bodies. I shouldn't laugh but I will laminate little cards with UVA on it for my clients for future reference. hehe

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  20. A friend told me at school! She was notorious for lying, so I had to go look it up and make sure she wasn't taking the piss... heh.

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  21. I think I recall seeing a comedy sketch where they did an ad with red, instead of blue. It was really gross and creepy. BUT it must be one of those things that confuses the shit out of you as a kid.

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  22. What age would you tell them? I think as early as possible.

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  23. Who are you clients? You have me curious! Midwifery?

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  24. You thought she was lying about the third hole? haha

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  25. Not exactly lying, but she could have been telling me that in front of all my friends so I'd believe her and look like a gullible idiot. She was an asshole.

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  26. asshole? Or Urethrahole. You heard it here first. hahaha

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  27. Love it! But yes, I am one who had a few confusions... trust me, being sexually active doesn't help illuminate the picture. At twelve I tried to put a tampon up my clitoral hood (I thought the blood was coming from there! True story). Then as an adult I further abused my clitoral hood trying to self catheterise (I thought the wees came from there! True story. That's one multi-tasking clitoris. Self cath is something I have to do because my Dysautonomia has stopped my bladder working properly). Trust me, those diagrams are not necessarily accurate for every body! Yowtch!

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  28. Well you just taught me something new @Rachel! I had never heard of Dysautonomia! I can't imagine trying to get to my urethra and self cath! That's a feat. My mum had trouble cath-ing patients when she was learning. Tough gig. You have a fantastic sense of humour, is it because of all the tough shit life has thrown at you?

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