Tuesday, August 19, 2014

John Safran vs My Baby

11.02am: I'm currently sitting trapped inside my car, out the front of my mother in laws house. We drove over here so my baby boy could nap in her quiet house as there are renovations happening in mine. I can't leave baby by himself; he's fallen asleep on the way over here. I can't move him because he will wake up. The thing is I'm not 'this' mum, usually. Usually I am not the mum trapped in her car whilst her baby has a nap.  Usually my son naps in his bed ONLY. When we drive the 40 minutes home from my inlaws after having dinner there he fights sleep. Even with a dummy (pacifier) in his mouth and even with Sting or The Police baby music playing - HE WILL NOT SLEEP IN THE CAR. But right now he is?
11.11am: I'm not really minding too much actually. My new car has heated seats, and other luxury features. I could start to list all the nice things about this new car while I wait for my sleeping baby to nap. Who has time for that? Unless you are particularly interested in which vehicle we chose, ya know, based on how our butts would stay warm, or how our pram would fit in the boot (translation for N. American friends is stroller in the trunk), and how I can now park like such a champion because of my innovative reversing camera; so much so that I have gotten out of this car before and had a man comment on how incredible it was that I was able to get my SUV parallel parked in THAT spot. I felt pride, then I felt guilty and had to cough up the fact that my new car has one of those fancy new do-das that help space-challenged women like me. FYI: It's a 2013 Honda CRV. We bought it in December. Which means for one month I was super cool because I had a car made in that same year. What can I say, I'm bringing sexy back. Below are shots of me last weekend. 

Speaking of bringing sexy back. What's up with that new TV show - Bringing Sexy Back? Fat people getting makeovers. I'm not being very PC in this post, but I'm also overweight so who cares. But really people - I haven't seen one skinny person getting a makeover on there. I also haven't seen one episode. I'm just going off what I see on the ads for it. Do they actually make people lose weight on that show? Or do they just give them proper fitting clothes, new make-up and hair? Now you want to watch. Ack! Why do we love before and afters? The fat made beautiful again and the ugly made presentable to the rest of society. [Stay tuned for a future post on my bedroom renovation - because we love before and afters, right].
Honda Photo Credits
11.25am: Baby still sleeping. The breathing is getting heavier. 
I have been playing my favourite podcast on the drive over here. I'm sure the voices are soothing for baby and that if I turn it off (because I'm writing)  he will wake-up. So of course that means I'm missing the show while I write. What a dilemma. Ha. The podcast is Sunday Night Safran on Triple J - John Safran and Father Bob Maguire are the hosts. Two hours of smart and interesting conversation, interviews and intelligent topics. 
Father Bob and John Safran  - Photo Credit
For example, John just mentioned that he went to a wedding and that the celebrant is required by law to say "marriage" means the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others. I didn't know that. Even if your marriage happens in a field of cows and daisies it has to be said. Even if your parents are lesbians and your best friends are gay and it will make everyone uncomfortable. Yes, it makes for a very awkward moment at the ceremony …
Photo Credit 
11.36am: Now they (John and Bob) are talking about Islamic fashion. I definitely have podcast crush on them. I am amazed that even though this particular series was recorded in 2011 it's still relevant now. 
When my husband and I were in Melbourne we were able to go to Father Bob's church, and witness his mass. BEST MASS EVER!!! We are huge nerds. After the service, we knocked on his door and brought him chocolates (yes, the very same that John brought him in the Documentary John Safran vs God). We also acquired his autograph. He took off right after mass which is why we had to stalk him to his home, next door. I know. Creepy right. Coolpriest.com. I don't know if anyone owns that domain but Father Bob should because I'm pretty sure there's never been a cooler priest and I'm not even catholic. Well I am but only by association. Only because I married one.
Dave (doing Mo-vember) and Father Bob and ME - November 2009
11.45am: Oh dear, I think I just discovered dried booger on my head. My shirt has spots of food on it, and my head, up until now (and unbeknownst to me) had booger on it in public, and I am sitting in my car so my baby can have his nap. Sometimes it really hits me how much my life has changed. Nah, I had dried booger on my head before having a baby, I'm sure. Ha! 

3.13pm: A few hours later Charlie has fallen asleep again in the car so I am sitting and waiting. I think in future I'm chucking out the Sting Baby music and will instead only play the soothing voices of the Sunday Night Safran podcast. I herby fully endorse their podcast as baby soothing appropriate.


  1. Oh, sleeping babies in the car. The only time they are a god thing is at night on the way home from dinner at my Mum's or the in-law's, especially if I am by myself with Dave on night-shift. Otherwise, sleeping in the car can never mean good things!

  2. Oh you're better than me! I can't stand waiting in the car and would have given up and tried the transfer.
    Never heard of that podcast. I'm fond of podcasts, though I rarely have the time :(

  3. I never do it either, @EssentiallyJess! I always thought it was a little funny when my friends did. But the other day I just thought I will take what I can get because I know he won't fall asleep again inside the house. DESPERATE woman, I was! Do you listen to podcasts in the car. That's the only way I can. I load them on my old iPod.

  4. Yes, if they fall asleep on the last 5 minutes home then they won't sleep inside the house right? So frustrating. That's what happens to us when sleep (rarely) wins the battle.