Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Female Anatomy Lesson #3 - 10 Breast Things

Artwork by Fernando Vicente
You may have seen the above art work before in my Female Anatomy lesson #2  - What is a Cervix? Or maybe did some funnier reading on my Female Anatomy Lesson #1 - You've got three holes not two.

But today's lesson is all about our boob-a-lachies, breast-icles, fun bags, Pam and Dolly, jugs, milk-shakes, traffic stoppers, jogging partners,  highbeams, pimped-out hub caps, or simply - the artists formerly known as breasts ( but why use the real name when there's so many great nicknames for these babies)?

Here are 10 things you might not know about boobs:

1. The nipple is actually only the tip of the darker coloured skin on the breast. The round part surrounding it is actually called the areola. So if someone says they see a bit of nipple peaking out from under a shirt you better check they're right because it's probably just the areola showing. No biggie.

 2. Breasts are not a hose - they are a sprinkler. A friend of mine asked me, back when I was breast feeding, if it came out in one stream. Milk comes out from 15-20 little tiny openings. Lactiferous ducts are what carry the milk to these openings.
Image Credit 
3. Ducts travel along to lobules which hold tiny sacs called alveoli, which produce and store milk when breast feeding.

4. Sorry boys, contrary to what you'd like to believe, just because nipples are hard does not mean that we are sexually aroused. We might just be cold, or they get sensation from our clothes rubbing on them, or we are more hormonal. Yes, definitely hormonal. Sometimes women's nipples aren't even erect when they are sexually aroused so definitely don't take this as a sign we are turned on.

FUN FACT: Some women can achieve orgasm just through nipple stimulation

Check out your NODES Image credit
5. Inverted nipples are common. Yup, 15 to 20% of women have inverted nipples. They are caused by shorter-than-usual milk ducts. They are not a health risk but they may make it difficult to breast feed.

6. Some boobies get hairy! Some hairs can look like little eyelashes on the areola! Get one of them stuck in your teeth and it's all over! Passion is killed. I once saw a woman breastfeeding her baby from a very hair areola. Fact: gummy mouths don't get hairs stuck anywhere, they just wash right down. Mmmm. Yum!

7. Everyone's nipples are different. Sounds like we should add that to the finger printing repertoire of police detectives and their data bases? "Mam, could you just place your right nipple here ... thanks" Guess that would only work if the person robbing your home, or murdering your goat, was shirtless and rubbing their chest on things and leaving their nipple-prints? Ridiculous.

8. Pregnancy and breast feeding can change the nipple size, sometimes permanently.

9. Uneven Breasts are common! It's a condition called asymmetry.

10. Your breast tissue changes according to your menstrual cycle. You may find your breasts feel fuller and more sensitive when you ovulate, particularly on the day of ovulation. Sensitivity can also be a symptom of early pregnancy. YIKES! Sudden or recent changes in size should be checked by your Dr.

Have you checked your boobies lately? Click here for instructions!

If you don't want to check, there are volunteer teenage boys standing by who will ...


  1. God bless your cotton socks Cam!!

    The sprinkler action took me by surprise when I had my baby. Especially getting into a hot shower and looking down and going "oh my god! The sprinkler's going off! Don't waste that liquid gold!!!"

  2. Natalie @ Our Parallel ConnectApril 28, 2015 at 3:25 PM

    I think more men need to read the fact that erect nipples is NOT A sign of sexual arousal ... What a good boy this teenager is

  3. @Natalie @ Our Parallel Connect I think most of this post is geared towards teenagers! HA! Should get my teenage sister in-laws to share with their friends.
    Although a lot of this is not assumed knowledge. I am always shocked how little people know when it comes to our bodies.

  4. Cam, is a good man, or boy! @Lauren @ the-thud.com

    It is liquid gold, and it's definitely worth crying over spilled milk.

  5. Great 101! I was totally surprised by the sprinkler when I first expressed. I thought something was wrong me with me :/

  6. Ha! That sprinkler thing was the main thing I had no idea about. I remember inspecting them before my first was born and thinking 'but how? and where from?' but feeling too silly to actually ask anyone. I figured it would all become clear soon enough... Visiting from #TeamIBOT

  7. Can you imagine if they brought in boobie-printing? That would be so embarrassing!
    It's funny how there are all different sizes and stuff. I've never made a point of looking other peoples ones to fin out!

  8. OMG yes to number two - that one really freaked me out when I was breastfeeding! And holy crap number 8. WTF. If nipples were dicks she'd be a porn star and I'd be shamefully lacking.

  9. @Malinda Your life is changed for the better, right?

  10. Oh my gosh, yes you would be shamefully lacking! haha

  11. @EssentiallyJess I honestly don't even know how my mind went there ....

  12. @Bec @ HoP & StLSoP I know what you mean. They don't teach us this stuff in school!

  13. @Renee at Mummy, Wife, Me I can just imagine you "Help. I've got too many holes in my hose!"