Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Part II - From Childfree to Childless

Guest Post by Jennifer Forlin. If you missed Part I of Jennifer's story you can read it here
Photo by Rodion Kutsaev
Continued from last week ...

I think those last few minutes before I checked my results was the last time I was really happy.

The next three months were hard without having my husband around. The days were OK when I worked, however the evenings weren’t so great. By that time I’d had a grey-stripey kittycat named Steve for three months, and his antics were some salve. Friends of my step-sister tried to draw me out and were unsuccessful. I’d even been voted to the Board of Directors for the Chamber of Commerce and that fell away too.
There were other fertility tests that I needed to take, further exploration. The 'why' of it all. So I left my job with the super rad owner, kick ass staff, and moved back down to the City, leaving small town Utopia behind. (One of my staff told me Steve had found a great new home. Phew.)

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

From Child-Free to Child-Less

  Part I of the guest post by Jennifer Forlin
Photo by Rodion Kusaev

On my wedding day I said, “I don’t”.

            On June 26, 2010 I said I don’t want children, I don’t want a family. I don’t want to be hitched to a world where companies chase me, shoving their baby-friendly and mother-engineered, over-priced products down my throat. Emptying my wallet. Manipulating me to pay attention. Coercing me to cuddle, coddle and swathe. (Now was that companies, or my mini-me?)

It wasn’t a body image thing, or a financial thing, or even a “I’m saving the world by not bringing another being into it,” modus operandi. Besides, everybody knows that it’s expensive enough to live Vancouver, Canada, let alone have children.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

10 Ways Parenting with Pain is Different

Photo by Ryan McGuire
I've been a mum for just over two years and I've noticed one thing that makes my parenting experience different from most mums I know - pain. Over the last few months I've really been paying attention to this difference. How it impacts the way I engage with my child, my energy levels, and my temperament. I parent through pain. Almost everything I do is done through the pain filter. The decisions I make are based on my pain levels and tolerance. I also need to have a different level of self-care than most mums. Over the period of one year I was a passenger in four car accidents. Three of which were pretty minor, as far as accidents go, and even the fourth would probably just meet the moderate category. But 16 years on and I am still living with pain every day. Even now I have a severe headache that has threatened to stop my writing in its tracks.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

Shannon, who blogs at My 2 Morrows, nominated me for a Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award a couple weeks ago. She's always leaving me genuine and caring comments. She writes on her lifestyle blog about her two kids, travel and other life stuff. She even has a cool section called Love Want Need where, you guessed it, she lists and collages all three of her loves, wants and needs. She's given me a list of questions to answer about myself. I thought it would be a stinking great opportunity for some of my readers who don't know me all that well to just fall head over heels for me and my salaciousness.  Truthfully - I'm not too salacious I just never get to use that word. How freaking good is it?  Salacious. Mmmm. Yum.

1. How did you meet your significant other? 

I was only 20 when I moved to Australia in 2002 arriving here from Canada to do a Christian missionary training course because I grew up in a missionary family. Long story short, it ended up being very cult-like. But Dave ended up becoming one of my best friend's so that's a huge positive to come out of such a messed up place. We all lived commune style housing so we got to see each other at our ugliest and loveliest. After four years my husband got out of the cult. One night I called him crying for help; I was so confused by the control and spiritual abuse I was experiencing. He asked me a lot of questions about why I was there and what made me stay. He had me use my critical thinking again, something that had really been stripped away over the 3 years I was in there. After that conversation Dave got the big feelings for me and started seeing me in a whole new way. Hubba, hubba. But I left for Canada 2 weeks after he told me how he felt, so it took quite a bit of emailing and phone calling to bring me onside with the idea of dating one of my best friends. I think this one deserves it's own post. Whoops. Yeah well, you try summing up cult life. F*cked

Our wedding in 2006 - Photo by Peter Leslie